The Winnererremy Mummy Kerfuffle

#@*!!!

Having missed mothers' group for a couple of weeks, I was really looking forward to today's gathering, at one of our favourite venues, The Flying Fox Cafe at Winnererremy Reserve. And it was indeed very pleasant. It was great to catch up with the girls and their various bubs, all of whom seem to be growing at an incredible rate. Mitch is still nearly the biggest, and quite clearly the spewiest.

Whilst sitting him on my knee after a feed, letting him experience the indescribable joy of scrunching up a napkin, I felt a tell-tale quake in the vicinity of his bottom. Before letting it turn into an 'OONE' (pronounced "ooney" - an Out Of Nappy Experience), I gathered up the change bag, scooped up the little tike and took myself off to the baby change room.

False alarm. The botty-quake was no more than hot air. Never mind. I packed away the changing paraphernalia, tucked His Nibs under my arm and turned the door handle. And that's when it fell off. I was locked in! About the time I had assessed the situation and was starting to formulate a solution, Mitchell regurgitated a couple of tablespoons of old, separated milk down my shoulder. Once I had decided not to bang on the door and yell out for help, he had sent another tablespoon or so down the front of my top and into my bra. And at roughly the same time as I had managed to negotiate my mobile phone out of my bag and ring one of the mothers' group girls, he'd chucked another one over my shoulder and into a great puddle on the floor. Bless.

Laughing all this off, I rang Megan, who was sitting at a table not 15 metres away, on the other side of the locked door. No answer. So I tried Pip. No answer. Katrina, Al and Kylie. No answer, no answer, no answer. Bugger. As I wrestled some toilet paper off the roll and attempted to clean us as much sour, curdy vomit as I could, I decided to give Megan one more go. This time she picked up. I explained my predicament, joined in when she cacked herself laughing, and less than a minute later the door was open and I was free!

This is one of the things that I absolutely love about mothers' group: you can emerge from being locked in a bathroom covered in baby chuck, and every single girl in the group will know precisely how you feel.