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20 December 2011

A Eulogy for Reverend Fred Nile

Because he's wrong.


The Reverend Fred Nile, in all his blessed ignorance, has posted a media release here, expressing his "condolences and sympathy" over the recent passing of Christopher Hitchens. I can't help thinking that Fred is trying to be a bit saucy by asserting that Hitchens is "no longer an atheist". Cheeky bugger. Cheeky, obsolete, deluded, smarmy, righteous bugger.

Now, in the twilight of Fred's reality, I'd like to prepare for the inevitable by penning a fitting send-off for the old God-botherer:



He’s not a Christian any more,
He’s not a hoary prat,
He’s not a homophobic boob;
He’s finished with all that.
He won’t be saying no to porn,
He won’t be shunning drink.
He won’t be talking bollocks
About what you ought to think.
He’s joined the ranks of humankind,
Of sexy unwed mums;
Of Muslims, whores and atheists
And men who like men’s bums.
He’s gone to talk to Jesus now
His journey’s near complete.
And while he’s waiting, grubs will feast
Upon his fetid meat.