Afterwards.

Because funerals are terrible.


Bury me in my back garden,
Bum up or bum down, I don't care.
Don't fret for my soul,
Simply dig me a hole,
Roughly one-and-a-half metres square.

Bury me in my back garden,
No casket, no coffin, no frills.
For next to no cost
I will slowly compost
Circumventing funereal bills.

Bury me in my back garden,
As if I was one of your pets.
I take up more room
Than a terrier's tomb
But I'll save you a trip to the vet's.

Bury me in my back garden,
no need for a vicar or priest.
Just make sure I'm dead,
Chuck some dirt on my head,
And then drink to the newly deceased.