14 December 2010

Homeopathy for Turtles.

That's not a joke.

Just when I think things can't get more ludicrous over at Homeopathy Plus, they go and post something about Homeopathy for Turtles*. No, that's not a euphemism for a naturopathic laxative. It really is about homeopathy for turtles. There are so many, SO MANY things I could say about this, but I don't know where to start. So here's a quick pome while I go stick a fork in my brain:

When you’ve got a sickly turtle,
All its suffering and hurt’ll
Disappear. Dilute wax myrtle
At one part per ten gazillion.

When your cooter’s come a cropper:
Nux vomica in a dropper,
Soon he’ll come back good and proper,
Smiling like a crocodilian.

God knows only you can tell,
When your darling in his shell,
Isn’t feeling very well,
‘Cause he moves a little slow.

But a tiny smidge of stuff,
Watered down more than enough,
Could restore your slowpoke’s puff,
And put get-up in his go.
Maybe anything with fins,
Coldish blood and scaly skins,
Sea snakes, crocs and terrapins
Could be cured of every sniffle

How could any kind of species
With its nephews, aunts and nieces
Swimming ‘round in their own faeces
Really profit from such piffle?

*Thanks to Dr Rachie for bringing this to my attention.


  1. Once again, you manifest my incredulous rage with actual rhymin'. You're a bona fide public service, innit.

  2. Real is scientific homeopathy. It cures even when Conventional Allopathic Medicine (CAM) fails. Evidence-based modern homeopathy is a nano-medicine bringing big results for everyone

  3. Nancy! Great to have you back. It's always nice when you drop by to add a dimension of validity to my otherwise trivial little blog. Thank you.