Because apples aren't horseshoes.
I’ve got ants in my kitchen, all over the bench.
Should I use pest control or a hydraulic wrench?
I want something to carry my cards and my money.
Should I get a purse or a brick dipped in honey?
I want to go travelling across the blue skies.
Should I get on a plane or rub salt in my eyes?
The sand burns my feet when I walk on the beach.
Should I put on some shoes or wear nettles and bleach?
My head gets quite wet when it’s raining outside.
Should I use an umbrella or chlorpropamide?
I need something to write on my Mum’s birthday card.
Should I purchase a pen or a hatful of lard?
When I want to make biscuits, then what should I choose?
Some butter and flour or some tractors and shoes?
I want to stop Whooping Cough’s lung-wrenching wrath.
Should I see my GP or a homeopath?
The idea for this one came from the Skeptics with a K podcast from the Merseyside Skeptics (my current favourite ear-candy, frequently responsible for making me laugh out loud and nod my head furiously on a crowded train. It makes me look crazy, but often gets me a seat to myself). Skeptics with a K addressed the oft-cited argument in favour of homeopathy, that people should have the opportunity to choose their mode of health treatment. This argument has an obvious flaw - it assumes that homeopathy enjoys the same credibility and status as something that actually has an effect. Go see http://letpeoplechoose.org for some more helpful examples.