I'm not usually one to make New Year's resolutions. I don't smoke, I'm not overweight, I eat well and I exercise almost every day, so the usual kind of annual-promises-to- oneself aren't really necessary in my case.*
A few weeks before the end of 2011, however, I heard somebody say something that stuck in my head like dried Weet-Bix on a cereal bowl:
"I wanted to do something that really scared me."
Bingo. That sounded like the kind of resolution I could make. But what? What could I do that would turn my legs to jelly and shrink my confidence to a quivering snowflake?
Go into confined spaces a few hundred metres underground?
Get a little too close to wild animals?
Walk into a room full of people who want to punch me?
All that's left to do, really, is stand up in front of a crowd of people and try to make them laugh while other people judge me. So my 2012 New Year's Resolution is this:
I will enter Raw Comedy.
A few things scare me about this.
First, I'm scared that people will assume that I think I'm funny in an up-myself way. In fact, it's my friends who have been telling me I'm funny, and I want to find out if they're lying.
Second, I'm scared of stuffing up. After weeks of writing and rehearsing, I could go on stage and be absolute shite, forget a line, trip over or start crying.
Third, I'm scared that people won't laugh. I know, right? What a cliche.
Only one thing stands between me and the fulfillment of my resolution (Or, in case Mum's reading: the fulfillment of my resolution and me). The Sydney heats are full, and I'm currently on a waiting list. That means I only get to compete if someone else drops out - which could be with less than 24 hours notice - AND if Hubbo is off work and AND if someone can look after the kids while I make the 90km trip to the venue.
But yay. I'm excited. Hopefully soon I will be able to tick the box on my To Do list next to "Give Stand-Up A Red Hot Go", just under "Learn a Martial Art" and above "Make a Souffle".
*To be perfectly honest, I could really afford to cut down on Twitter and Bhuja Mix.