30 October 2012

How You Know You're Not Doing Science

Because there's a right way and a wrong way.

Your opinions are eternal,
You call Nexus mag a “journal”,
All your papers have inadequate citation;
All your reasoning’s fallacious,
And your error margin’s spacious
You extrapolate a cause from correlation.

When the tests that you’ve completed
Come out different when repeated;
By researchers from another institution;
When your confirmation bias
And statistical outliers
Make you think you’re on the edge of revolution.

When you claim your measly sample
Of apologists is ample
To substantiate your derelict conjecture;
When you think, with pompous speeches,
You can obfuscate the breaches
In your study’s fundamental architecture.

You use paid search engine rating
And theatrical debating
To create a sound and ethical illusion;
Something suss is underlying;
Many big red flags are flying;
Your research is subsequent to your conclusion.


  1. Shellity is da awesome.

  2. Made me chuckle and nod enthusiastically :)

  3. Anonymous8:18 am

    There was a chick called Shelly
    Who lack a dick but had a poddgy belly
    Stretch marks and donkey trail
    She was pretty unspectacular and a bit of a fail.

  4. @sehmahare11:33 am

    Some idiot hailed as 'Anonymous',
    With wanker, personality - synonymous,
    Its poor attempts at rhyming,
    Lacked Shellity's timing,
    So it deserves no attention from any of us.

  5. Oh, another anonymous post
    To the lady who lives up the coast.
    I see it's not game
    To use a real name.
    It's that fear that amuses the most.

  6. Anonymous11:18 am

    And again I must decry
    Those pretending that they are I
    when insulting our host's brilliance, bod or rhyme.

    But #fails of grammar; #fails of spelling
    tend to be - for wordnerds - telling, of
    an intellect undeserving of our time.

    - The Other (or perhaps *an*other) Anonymous