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08 August 2013

Naming Words.

Because One Nation am heaps good knowledging.

Queensland One Nation party candidate Stephanie Banister is doing a wonderful job upholding the party's platform. That is, not liking those icky brownish araby-type people who come here and force hardworking 'Strayans to spread Halal terrorism on their toast. That's pretty much it, from what I can tell. Because if you've already decided you hate immigrants from a certain part of the world, what's the point of learning things that might change your opinion? That's the kind of namby-pamby stuff we expect from foreigners.

Seven News recently interviewed Banister, and the results were half-frightening, half-wildly-entertaining. You can watch the story here. If you can't be bothered, please do enjoy these highlights:

"I don't oppose Islam as a country, um, but I do feel that their laws should not be welcome here in Australia."

"Jews aren't under Haram (sic), they have their own religion, which um, follows Jesus Christ."

"I believe that the disability scheme [due to be launched in Queensland in 2016] is working at the moment."

I'm so proud of Ms Banister's bravery, putting herself and her seemingly boundless lack of knowing anything in front of a camera for the whole country to see, that I simply had to write her a poem. This one's for you, Steph.


I’d like to go to Islam on a summer holiday,
With a stopover at Neo-Communism on the way.
Or perhaps a trip to Apathy – I hear it’s lovely there;
They have day trips to Engrossment for a discount family fare.
I would love to see Compassion from the top of Mount Ennui
Or the grassy plains of Shinto, or the lakes near Symmetry.
I could stand astride the border between Butter Knife and Spoon
Or recline in Backstrap’s poppy-fields and gaze up at the moon.
How I long to visit Irony, where wild Misnomers roam!
But I think I’ll stay here, cloistered in the Ignorance of home.