You went searching for a schism in the study of autism,
‘Cause you’re certain vaccines cause it, and that needs to be explored.
And for every tract or lecture in support of your conjecture,
You found many more against, which you summarily ignored.
All the scientists conforming to the norm of global warming
Are, in your opinion, wrong, or at the very least misled;
Since an expert crunched some figures, showing human-centric triggers
Are a load of crap, so never mind what other experts said.
You’ve heard claims that every fossil ever found makes a colossal
Case for evolution here on Earth, including humankind.
But you noticed an omission in the record of transition
From bacterium to human, so you’re sure we’ve been designed.
You could search the world all over for a tiny four-leaf clover;
Or a hidden ukulele in a pile of violins;
For a prickle in a thicket, or a lucky golden ticket,
Or a silver needle buried in a haystack full of pins.
You’ll find papers reinforcing the position you’re endorsing,
So hooray for you, you clever sausage! Everybody cheer!
But the confirmation bias of statistical outliers
Doesn’t make the weight of evidence against you disappear.