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14 March 2014

Abbottry

Because I've learned so much.

What have I learned since the Abbott government came to power in September? Let's see...


Keeping trees locked up for selfish native wildlife isn’t right.
Locking people up in camps offshore is fine.
Schools’ curricula aren’t suitably supremacist or white.
Family planning should be led by the Divine.
If a substance is invisible, it can’t be bought or sold.
Men in naval uniforms are never wrong.
Current research into wind farms is erroneous and old.
Coral reefs have been alive for far too long.
Childcare workers aren’t worth paying – not like wealthy pregnant mums.
Cabinet ministers aren’t wimps or bleeding hearts.
Medicare is too expensive, and has complicated sums.
Sovereign borders aren’t too clearly marked on charts.
When a journo asks a question, give a slogan-spattered spiel.
Never comment on administrative matters.
Steer away from any facts that inadvertently reveal
That your last shred of humanity’s in tatters.