Somethin' Stupid

(with apologies to C. Carson Parks)
Because dating is hard.


I looked at your profile
And I swiped right
Because your smile
Was captivating to me.

And when we went
Someplace to meet
You ordered
Something sweet
And then you
Shared it with me.

Then afterwards
I stopped and stared
And secretly prepared
A future for us.

But then you went
And spoiled it all
By saying you could never date
a Taurus.

*

You can see it in my eyes
You're a reprise
Of other guys
I've tried to date before.

And though you think there's still a spark
Your last remark
Means I can't see you
Anymore.

*

I saw you in a bar
And in that moment,
From afar
I felt less sad and alone.

You wandered over
for a chat
And shortly
After that
I had your name in my phone.

For days on end
We'd type and send
A hundred silly messages
Between us.

But then you went
And spoiled it all
By sending me a photo
Of your penis.

*

You can see it in my eyes
You're a reprise
Of other guys
I've tried to date before.

And though you think you're quite risqué
That doesn't make me want to stay
Around for more.

*

I walked past where
You sit each day
Because it’s on the way
Between my desk and the lifts.

And every smile,
Each soft hello
I kept next to my heart as though
You gave them as gifts.

One afternoon
At Friday beers
Your voice bewitched my ears
In conversation.

And then you went
And spoiled it all
By telling me you voted
For One Nation.