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07 September 2011

The Back-Crackin' Blues

As the highly capable and consistently awesome Dr Rachie has documented recently, there's been some trouble brewing in Australian chiropractic circles. For a long time, a significant slab of chiropractors have claimed to successfully treat all manner of disease and dysfunction, based on the scientifically-suspect notion of vertebral subluxation, originally proposed by "magnetic healer" Daniel David Palmer in the late 19th Century. Whenever such claims come under close scrutiny, it causes something of a hand-flapping flurry amongst the chiropractic community. Today I've attempted to capture the essence of their discomfort.

Woke up this morning
Was feelin’ fine
Thought I’d go stick my elbow
In a two-year-old’s spine.
I got the blues.
Got them back-crackin’ blues. 

D.D. Palmer’s my hero;
Chiropractic’s own king;
Claimed that subluxation,
Causes every damn thing.
I got the blues.
Got them quack-backin’, back crackin’ blues. 

When my claims about chiro;
For diseases and such;
Have been tested with science;
They don’t mean nothin’ much.
I got the blues.
Got them fact-lackin’, quack-backin’, back-crackin’ blues. 

I think most vaccinations;
Are as evil as hell.
‘Course that’s just my opinion;
And my colleagues’ as well.
I got the blues.
Got them vax-whackin’, fact-lackin’, quack-backin’, back-crackin’ blues.