The Back-Crackin' Blues

As the highly capable and consistently awesome Dr Rachie has documented recently, there's been some trouble brewing in Australian chiropractic circles. For a long time, a significant slab of chiropractors have claimed to successfully treat all manner of disease and dysfunction, based on the scientifically-suspect notion of vertebral subluxation, originally proposed by "magnetic healer" Daniel David Palmer in the late 19th Century. Whenever such claims come under close scrutiny, it causes something of a hand-flapping flurry amongst the chiropractic community. Today I've attempted to capture the essence of their discomfort.

Woke up this morning

Was feelin’ fine

Thought I’d go stick my elbow

In a two-year-old’s spine.

I got the blues.

Got them back-crackin’ blues. 

D.D. Palmer’s my hero;

Chiropractic’s own king;

Claimed that subluxation,

Causes every damn thing.

I got the blues.

Got them quack-backin’, back crackin’ blues. 

When my claims about chiro;

For diseases and such;

Have been tested with science;

They don’t mean nothin’ much.

I got the blues.

Got them fact-lackin’, quack-backin’, back-crackin’ blues. 

I think most vaccinations;

Are as evil as hell.

‘Course that’s just my opinion;

And my colleagues’ as well.

I got the blues.

Got them vax-whackin’, fact-lackin’, quack-backin’, back-crackin’ blues.