Just because.
Please don’t keep your axolotl in an empty shampoo bottle
When a proper coffee pot’ll do the trick.
When a proper coffee pot’ll do the trick.
Don’t feed raisins or sultanas to exsanguinous iguanas;
Offer only ripe bananas when they’re sick.
Offer only ripe bananas when they’re sick.
If you must adopt a locust, it’s important you stay focused
-
Your indifference might provoke a stream of swears.
Your indifference might provoke a stream of swears.
Water isn’t good for spiders, they prefer a range of ciders
Served with tiny pulled-pork sliders, cut in squares.
Served with tiny pulled-pork sliders, cut in squares.
If you take a young impala to a symphony or gala,
Be advised: the sound of Mahler makes them squeal.
Be advised: the sound of Mahler makes them squeal.
If you haven’t any pillow for your banded armadillo,
Then a head-sized sheet of filo is ideal.
Then a head-sized sheet of filo is ideal.
If you can’t stop your cicada stealing biscuits from your
larder,
Try to make its access harder with a maze.
Try to make its access harder with a maze.
Never give your tuatara make-up, shoes or a tiara,
You’ll be cleaning up mascara smears for days.
Hello Shellity
ReplyDeleteDue to the eroding effects on my memory which may have been at least partially induced by having (against my will) to drink even more than I normally do over the past fortnight, I can't remember how I came across your blog. But how glad I am I did. I will gradually rummage through your drawers over the next few weeks and I hope that what I find at the back is as funny, interesting and entertaining as the bits I've managed to get my hands on up to now.
Yours
looby, oop north, England